Booktalking Colorado - Full Booktalk Record

Booktalking Colorado Full Record:

	Title:	you don't know me
	Author:	Klass, David
	Date Published:	2001
	Genre:	Real Life
	Grade Level:	7 - 12
	Booktalker:	Sam Marsh

Booktalk:
You don't know me. You think I'm upstairs doing my homework for Mrs. Moonface who is really Mrs. Garlic Breath who is really Mrs. Gabriel. You don't know what I look like, one minute real tall, one minute geeky, one minute studly, constantly changing. Watching you...sitting on the couch next to the man who is definitely NOT my father, waiting for him to pet you like a dog or cat. He is not a very nice man. No, not because he isn't my real father, who disappeared out of our lives about 10 years ago, but because he hits me when you're not here, and says "Don't rat on me John, or you'll regret it." Really nice guy. How am I watching you? From the apple tree that isn't an apple tree. It's never produced a single thing resembling an apple. Or a pear, nor a pair of apples, nor a pineapple. All it produces is gray leaves, so it must be a gray-leaf tree. That's where I am in the gray-leaf tree. Watching you and the man who isn't my father. But, I'm really in my room doing homework. One doesn't have to see things to know they are happening, and its cold and windy and I don't like climbing trees. On the weekend, I go to the Bay View Mall with my best Friend Billy Beezer (okay, Billy Beanman but with a nose 3 times longer than natural whom I have renamed the aforementioned Beezer). Andy Pearce, the drummer in our band (where I play the giant frog that pretends to be a tuba), who has no other name because he is takes everything literally and only says things with one obvious meaning--like a car with only one gear. Billy tells us how he has a plan to ask out Glory Hallelujah, the ugliest girl in our anti-school with the greasy hair and no brains. The girl who is so stupid that she might actually like ME. Okay! Glory's real name is Gloria and she is the most beautiful girl in our anti-school and smart as a whip. I only say she's ugly because I'm trying to get up the courage to ask her out. But, my best friend Billy wants to ask her out too. . "I liked Gloria first," I said. "Tough eggs," Billy responded. His plan is to first ask her to a basketball game this Friday, because she loves basketball, then to work into asking her to the Holiday Dance But, Billy is an eater, and Billy is broke. He decides to try to appropriate some egg rolls that have been calling his name. Billy gets caught. So, my not-friend is grounded, among other things, and out of the picture. Now, it's just me and my nerve in our not-Math class. I write the note with a Big YES and a small no box on it for Glory to check. Finally, with only 4 minutes left if the class, I get my chance and pass the note to Glory. She reads it under the desk, then raises it to her lips...they spread open like rosebud petals in spring sunshine, her pearly teeth part and ... She EATS the note. What the heck does that mean?! I wonder if she wanted fries and a coke? Supersized?